undestructable

Rules for Anchorites

Letters from Proxima Thule

Previous Entry Add to Memories Tell a Friend Next Entry
And Now For Something Completely Different
baby got hack
[info]yuki_onna
In honor of [info]justbeast coughing like a Victorian heroine all over the house and moaning into his tea, I give to you, loyal and lovely LJverse:

Baby Got Hack

Oh my god, Becky, look at her breath.
It is so thin.
She looks like one of those Raphaelite guys’ girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those Raphaelite guys anyway?
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total fallen woman, 'kay?
I mean, her breath, is just so thin.
I can't believe it's just so weak, it's like,
barely there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... pale!

I like weak lungs and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And her TB in your face
You get sprung,
wanna pull up front
'Cause you notice those lungs were crushed
Deep in the gown she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And paint your picture!

My Brotherhood tried to warn me
But that cough you got makes me so horny!

Ooh, ankle-o’-pale-skin
You say you wanna get in my oeuvre?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average muse!
I've seen her dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Smilin’ ‘cause she ain’t dead yet!
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' healthy is the thing
Take the average Raphaelite and ask him that
She gotta pack much hack.

So, Dante! (Yeah!) Holman-Hunt! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the Tib? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to hawk it! (Shake it!) Hawk it! (Shake it!)
Hawk that rattlin’ cough!
Baby got hack!

(Hampshire face with London booty)
Baby got hack!

I like 'em wasted, and languid
With those drooping lids--
I just can't help myself,
I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal:
I wanna get you home
And ‘lo, double-up, cough, spit!
I ain't talkin' bout the Royal Academy
'Cause marble parts are made for boys!

I want 'em real thin and supine
So find that sickly double
Lancelot’s in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that rubble.
So I'm lookin' at Picasso
Watchin' blue bimbos walkin' like crows
You can have all of his
I'll keep my women like Janey and Liz!

A word to the faint soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna paint
Til the break of dawn
when your strength is almost gone:
A lot of chicks won't like this song
'cause them punks like to eat and breathe
And I'd rather they freeze and sneeze,
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get my Arthur on

So, ladies! {Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah)
If you want a role in my Hades (Yeah!)
Then turn around! Spit it out!
Even Ruskin got to shout
Baby got hack!
Baby got hack!

Yeah, baby! When it comes to females,
Ruben ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection.
36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 6'3".

So your girlfriend models as Guinevere,
cheeks all pink and bright with cheer?
But Gwinny ain't got pneumonia in the back of her chest cavity.
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got croup, hun
You can take Vitamin C or ‘cillin,
But please don't lose that cough.
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that your breath ain't cold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it.

So London says you're flat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your flu is kickin' in
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin' in!

To the bustled-up dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Consumption didn't miss her!

Some knucklehead tried to diss
'Cause his Effie was on my list
He had her but he chose to quit ‘er
And I pull up quick to get wit 'er!

So ladies, if the chest is frail,
And you want to do it in your veils
Dial 1-900-LANCELOT
And kick them morbid thoughts
Baby got hack!

(Liddell and Siddall, man, they got much hack) [4x]

***

Thank you, and don't forget to tip your waitress.


(Write On My Skin)
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
You rock so much!!! You have seen the Latin version of Baby Got Back that circulated a few years ago on lj, haven't you?

*giggles*
you made my day
*cough*

Even Ruskin got to shout
Baby got hack!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.


*blink*

My mommy says you have to go home now... *blink*

I love you, I hate you, and I am laughing my ass off.

Okay, I just stumbled upon this on the ol' Friends-Friends, but I had to compliment you on your thoroughly mad and insane brilliance.

The Ruskin reference nearly did me in.

Hee! Glad you enjoyed--I wondered if that might not be a little to obscure.

Should I mention that with my history of lung diseases, my name should be "Doc Holliday"?

I'm laughing out loud and coughing and so not explaining this one to anyone. May I pass it on to the masses (metaquote)?

It's already been metaquoted! If you can think of other ways to spread the cough, by all means. ;)

*suffers from teh love for you*

I adore you. You just rock.

...scurries off to tip waitress...


Referred here by [info]naamah_darling. This is hilarious, I have to say.
I like your whole lj, very pretty.

Singing this at Karaoke would get me all the chicks. Would you mind?

Thank you!

And by all means! I hear the redheads are easy.

This has to be the most hysterical thing I have read on my FL in quite awhile. We're talking mouthful of soy latte on the computer monitor hysterical.

To be strictly pedantic, Jane Burden doesn't look all that consumptive in most of the Pre-Raphaelite paintnigs, nor was she. Why don't you use "Fanny" instead, for Fanny Cornforth? She looks pretty anemic in some of the paintings.

Well, I meant Jane Morris, but it all depends on your POV. That neck...can't be natural.

You are quite, quite mad. And I have a cough too. Blaaaah.

and now I'm coughing, too

[info]sibylla

2005-10-11 07:21 pm (UTC)

Oh gods! I can't stop laughing! Ow!

I found this on metaquotes, and I must say... I do love you, I truly do. Yay!

Very enjoyable. I could almost hear the music.

Found this via friend of a friend, mind if I link?

too. damn. funny.

I'm here via recommendation from [info]agreenbunny.

Mind if I repost?

Go for it! As long as it's credited, I'm not fussed.

*rampant gigglefit*

I love it.

Additionally, you are awesome, and therefore I am adding you to my friends list. That is all.

I'm here from [info]metaquotes and I have to say that's the funniest thing I've read in a LONG time.

I actually put on Baby Got Back and sang along...using your words. Somehow, the cough I have only added effects...haha

(Write On My Skin)
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>